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If you experience imposter syndrome, you are clearly not alone. In fact, research suggests that 70% of professionals experience some aspects of imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.
Maya Angelou: “I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”
Tom Hanks: “No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, “How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?”
Albert Einstein: “The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.”
The phrase imposter syndrome or imposter phenomenon, or imposter experience was coined by Dr. Pauline Rose Clance in 1978. It has taken on new significance in the last few years as women have become more open about their experiences.
Three key attributes: a sense of being a fraud, fear of being discovered, and difficulty internalizing success while behaving in ways that maintain these beliefs.
There is an overall core experience of feeling inauthentic. It affects both genders, and although it has been most studied with high-achieving women, it affects all achievement levels and both genders.
Do you recognize yourself in this cast of characters?
The Expert: My primary talent is knowing everything and being able to do everything. That I know everything and can do everything is important to me.
The Perfectionist: My primary focus is on a task being done perfectly and turning it out perfectly. What is perfect is what is worthwhile and what should be commended, and it is what I strive for.
Natural genius: My primary gift is that I define success by having inherent intelligence and ability. My success should, therefore, come easily and without effort.
The soloist/rugged individualist: My primary responsibility is to be able to organize and complete a task alone. I prove myself successful by my self-reliance and independence from others.
Superhero: My primary motivation is to take on many roles. I expect myself to juggle them all well and have them all be successful.
If you recognize yourself in one of these characters, you may also identify yourself in the character of the imposter.
Imposter: My primary script is that I can exceed expectations and do well on my own or with others, but I never feel that my work is good enough. Sometimes, fear holds me back from doing something because I am afraid of being discovered as a fraud.
Or perhaps you recognize yourself in one or more of these specific scripts?
“My success was just due to luck or timing or error.”
“If I can do it, anybody can.”
“I agonize over the smallest flaws in my work.”
“I am crushed by even constructive criticism. I see it as evidence of my ineptness and incompetence.”
“When I succeed, I feel like I fooled them again.”
“I worry that it is just a matter of time before I will be found out to be a fraud.”
“They are just being nice.”
“It was really someone else’s work that made a difference.”
A cast of “imposters” walks with you each day. Of course, everyone has doubts occasionally, especially when attempting something new. The imposter syndrome is not talking about this kind of doubt but rather a more pervasive self-doubt. Imposter thoughts start weaving into a person’s life when they hold themselves to unattainable standards of competence. Falling short of these unattainable standards evokes repetitive feelings of shame and self-doubt. Shame and self-doubt erode confidence and clarity. With this lack of confidence and clarity, it becomes possible to adopt the distorted view of being an imposter or a fraud. There is then the ensuing fear of being found out to be this fraud.
Take our cast of characters. Standing alone, they might look like something to strive for or achieve. Now add the absolute to each category, the character soon becomes burdened with that unattainable and unsustainable task.
Always the expert: I do not feel satisfied finishing a task until I know everything about the subject. A minor lack of knowledge brings me shame.
Always a perfectionist: Even when doing something well. I do not feel satisfied find myself focused on what went wrong. If I have one minor flaw, I feel shame.
Always the natural genius: I do not experience success as building any confidence as I think I should have been able to do this, it is no big deal.” When I struggle or cannot get it on my first try, then I feel like a failure which causes me shame.
Always the soloist/rugged individualist. I fear asking for help will reveal my incompetence. I often will turn down help in my attempt to prove my self-worth and that I am self-reliant and independent from others. If I need help, this is a sign of my failure, and it makes me feel shame.
Always the Superhero: I work with extreme effort to take on many tasks, and I expect complete competence in each task. If I fall short in any one area (parent, partner, profession, volunteer etc.), I feel shame.
Do you see the link between a definition of competence that is unsustainable and the imposter syndrome? Are any of these characters familiar to you?
At its core, imposter thoughts or the full-blown syndrome are usually fed by an unconscious personal definition of what it means to be competent. This description usually begins with absolutes of I should, I will always, I will never. Remember, imposter thoughts begin with a comparison to a standard of competence that is unattainable and unsustainable. No matter how well the person does or how much they are praised, they are not able to attain their definition of what it means to be competent. Again, thinking they are an imposter becomes a distorted way of explaining their lack of ability to achieve their definition of competence.
Here is some more script that may sound familiar to you?
If I were really intelligent, capable, and competent I would:
- Know everything in my field.
- Get it right the first time.
- Excel in everything that I do.
- I’d always know the answer.
- I would always understand what I am reading
- I’d always feel confident.
- I would never make a mistake.
- I’d never be confused.
- I’d never need help.
- I should already know what I came here to learn.
Repercussions of living with imposter thoughts/feelings:
- Lack of confidence
- Underachieving in order not to risk being “found out”
- Decreased job satisfaction
- Decreased job performance
- Burnout
- Anxiety/Fear
- Depression
- Suicide
Or do you see yourself using these unhelpful and unhealthy strategies to keep from being found out to be a fraud?
- Over-preparing
- Holding back, remaining silent in the face of opposing opinions, not volunteering ideas
- Maintaining a low profile or continually changing roles.
- Use charm or ingratiation to win approval
- Shower praise on others’ abilities or accomplishments instead of your own
- Procrastination
- Never finishing
- Self-sabotage – show up late, don’t prepare
What can be done to work with your Imposter Thoughts?
- Become aware of when the imposter feelings and thoughts show up. Find the patterns. Fear…failure… and the unknown are frequent times when the imposter feelings and thoughts show up. Be aware of your response to fear, failure and the unknown.
- Talk about your imposter thoughts and feelings with others. Sharing these feelings and thoughts and finding you are not alone are some of the best ways to alleviate shame.
- Become familiar with and skilled at practicing self-compassion. Self-compassion is again another antidote to shame and allows patience.
- Use the phrase “(I am) (It is) is good enough over and over. Be selective about where you put your efforts…go for 100% in delivering and decrease agonizing over routine tasks. Look for imperfections in your favorite things: nature, pets, children, food…and see that you still love them.
- Counter your thoughts: If you want to stop feeling like an imposter, then you have to stop thinking like an imposter. Start thinking both/and rather than either/or…there is not always a right or wrong way, just different ways of doing or looking at things.
- Rewrite your version of competence to embody reality, self-compassion, and being a flawed human being. Know that effort trumps ability. Begin to see failures and challenges as opportunities, which starts with cultivating a more open mindset.
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin – Winnie the Pooh
What has been your experience? I'd love to hear from you.
To your value!
Daniel
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